Why adults have affairs?
Speak about a loaded issue that no one wants to talk about, that’s it. Amusing thing, married dating have been going on since ancient times. Extramarital affairs can be burdened with evils, cause misery, and other harms. Plus you have to wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness matter, funds, age dissimilarity, spiritual upbringing, guilt, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I should identify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, dating married women.
Why do men have affairs? There are as many answers as there are women seeking an affair. I am conserned generally though it is only the human condition, the need for care, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Physically we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and exciting, and sex makes us escape the world for a short period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Somebody can turn the craving on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos society has erected against extra-marital affairs. For many individuals the yearnings will beat their doubts and make them risk the fury of not only their relatives, but the public also. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, maybe some of us are. Sex is terribly good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not injure your relatives or anyone else? You will need to lessen the hazard you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the major cluster, gigantic actually. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they feel comfy in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to think about. Your savings are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be jointly besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them completing the sex performance, at least not with their spouse. An marital affair from time to time solves the trouble while keeping the marriage undamaged.
Ignoring, sadly this is a common reason I fear. One or the other, usually the male is sexually neglecting his female for a number of reasons. As a man I actually appreciate you guys neglecting your ladies and making them accessible to us guys of romance, making them “milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, could be caring is disappeared, maybe it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Could be we have just grown apart, our relulas concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is contradictory of what you want. Could be I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they seek the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for financial gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.